E3 Big 3

The Electronics Expo has kicked off, and the big three- Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo have shown their hands.  How did they fare?  We'll go chronologically-

We begin with Microsoft.  I've had a 360 since launch, and it's been my main source of gaming.  I'm invested in it, literally.  The system, though, is starting to show it's age, and the economy just can't support any entirely new system.  Microsoft has, instead, released their Kinect.  Here's a brief review-
"Kinect is an unresponsive tech demo for arm-waiving minigames, completely incapable of experiences gamers truly care about."
If I wanted simplistic sports minigames, I would've played them years ago on the Wii.  In fact, I did, and lost interest after a couple months.  The only interesting things going on with Kinect are hobbyist projects on the PC.  If your tech makes the Wii Remote look elegant and versatile, you need to just bury it and forget the whole thing.
Microsoft, though, are wholly invested, and with this E3 have proven all they care to do is shove it down our throats.  Their press-conference was a dismal display of the weakest examples of Wii gaming, now with twice as much input lag.
It was an xbox fan's worst nightmare become reality.
They went on to show how they're integrating (shoehorning) Kinect into Real games, like Mass Effect, which you can now speak dialogue options.  When asked why we couldn't use the headset everyone already has, the Microsoft rep being interviewed on Gametrailers TV ignored the question.  Here's your answer- Microsoft wants to force you to buy Kinect.  This will fail, of course.  Most gamers have a strong aversion to Utter Bullshit.
Outside of the minigames, we got a new Fable, which they've made into an on-rails shooter.  What. The. Fuck.  I kept thinking this had to be a joke; a bad dream.  It was earlier in the day.  Maybe I was struck in a fever dream, in reality sweating pure disappointment in the unusual hot summer.
No, this bad dream was real.  It wasn't even funny, like Sony during the PS3 unveiling.  This was like watching the family dog die in the street while the guy who hit it is trying to sell us an annoying, loud bird.
Then, in the most paltry show of support for their actual audience, we get a CG teaser of Halo 4, now with less Bungie!  After Halo 3, I have a hard time giving a shit, so they've got a sisyphian battle to sell that one to me.  That's my opinion, and I know I'm kind of in the minority there.
For providing nothing of substance that could possibly excite me, and in many cases pissing in my face, Microsoft gets an F.  Poor show.



A couple hours later Sony started their press conference.  There was a lot of rumors and speculation, revolving almost entirely around the NGP, now known as PSVita (sounds like a light, Italian salad).  But they weren't going to lead off with that.  Instead Jack Tretton- who is sometimes so cool in front of an audience I wonder if he's been tranquilized- lead off with some reassuring words on the PSN outtage.

It was about as genuine as a multinational corporation has ever sounded to me, so I was OK with it.  They snuck in their post-outtage numbers without sounding too pleased with the circumstances; instead explaining it all made Sony crystal clear on the importance of "Connectivity".  They would go on to show off NGP and PS3 trading content.  So they did their best to spin the outtage to tie in with their long-time-coming plans.  I'll say they didn't fail.  And really, what more could we ask for?  Individually written apology letters and a blow job?  If they don't get so horribly screwed up again, I think we'll be fine.

Sony had a couple games to show, focusing on Uncharted 3.  It looks great, of course.  I love that series and look forward to it.  Naughty Dog's big announcement for U3 was a fully-featured multiplayer beta for this fall.

Sony's motif this year was, again, 3D.  The centerpiece of their strategy is the Playstation brand 3D HDTV.  It's a tiny 24" HDTV with glasses-3D, at $499.  It's probably not going to convince even curious consumers to purchase, but for those looking for an option under $3,000 have something solid to consider.
Outside of that, we had a lot of Move shown.  I don't really care about Move, but it's at least not Sony's only vision of the future.  One demo stood out was oddly enough NBA 2K12, in which they used the Move to point out players to pass to.  Nothing revolutionary, but if I were to play a sports game other than NBA Jam, that'd be a neat option to have.

The big news from Sony was the PSVita.  It's a beast of a handheld, with so many features it seems almost desperate.  While a touch screen ought to be standard for any handheld worth its weight these days, the back touchpad still feels deep into Gimmick territory.  My best case scenario was a $250 price tag for the wifi version, and they nailed it.  Good on them.  I was really fearing $300-400 price.  They announced, to widespread Boo-ing (Ha haaa) that they partnered with AT&T for their 3g network.  Here's hoping they get smart to what consumers want, ie. NOT AT&T.  How many hookers and dumptrucks of coke does AT&T have at their disposal to get exclusivity when they have the most maligned, spotty, expensive wireless service of any national company?
So Sony, with no huge surprises or upsets and a slightly obnoxious emphasis on 3D, gets a B.  It's not a bad time to be a Playstation fan.



Today, the 2nd day of E3, started with Nintendo's press conference.  The HUGE question on everyone's mind was what Nintendo's next system was going to be.  Rumors abounded about a true HD, next gen system, possibly even more capable than the Xbox360.  The controller would have a touch screen in the center, and gameplay could move from your television to just the controller.
Finally the WiiU (U as in Ugh) was announced.  The touchscreen and migrating gameplay rumors turned out to be true, the rest... I don't even know.

I was just left baffled by what they presented.  In the days to come, when some more solid details are released, it could turn out to be a really cool piece of hardware.  As it was presented, though, it feels like a really expensive Wii controller that will end up with some interesting Nintendo titles, and a lot of shitty third-party titles.  The WiiU (just... Ugh) is even more left-field than the Wii originally was.  The possibilities seem pretty wide, but that only guarantees some neat tech demos, not awesome games.  I can't make heads or tails, but I'm certainly going to be paying attention.

Of course, the most solid part of Nintendo's conference was the 3DS, which along with... sigh.. Wiiu... gets a Smash Bros game!  Always cool.  There weren't that many brand new titles for the 3DS announced during the conference, but what was on display is a pretty evenly spread of solid titles.

While it didn't leave the nasty, dirty taste of the Kinect conference, there's still some mystery to this Wiiu thingie.  First, is it it's own console?  Or a kind of system add-on controller?  We'll know soon, but it shouldn't be so difficult to figure out.  Nintendo gets a "Needs Improvement".

As a personal note, the rumor they'd just call their new system simply "Nintendo" was a pleasing idea to me.  When I was a child, any gaming device was referred to as a "Nintendo".  It felt like Nintendo, as a company, might come back and school all the other companies on what video games are all about.  Instead, it's clear Nintendo plans on stick with their (profitable) casual audience.  For the average gamer, they will remain a secondary entity.